The Watch Conspiracy

Oct 15th, 2003 | Filed under Ranting

I used to think that a watch would last longer than the battery.

I was proven wrong.

Twice.

I suppose it’s a bit misleading to say that both of my watches broke since I managed to partially resurrect one of them, but it amounts to the same thing.

I got my Casio – DATA BANK (DB-34H) watch back in 2000 as a replacement for my previous watch. You see, I have this bad habit of removing my watch and putting it in my pocket or on the nearest available surface because it tends to irritate my arm. I think I’ve lost about 7 watches over the last 10 years doing this (probably the reason why I usually buy watches that are relatively cheap – less than $40). After about a year of use, my watch simply stopped working – whole numbers were no longer being displayed and none of the functions worked. I was at a loss as to how this could possibly happen. I don’t go around smacking my watch against walls or people, and I don’t do any deep-sea diving. At this point, I hypothesized that the battery had, for some reason, died.

Ever the tinkerer, I took the watch apart and pulled the battery out. Grabbing the nearest multimeter, I checked the voltage and found it to be well within normal operating parameters. Well, so much for that idea. I carefully put the watch back together, and, much to my surprise, the watch started to work again! Miracle of miracles! But not so fast. Apparently, either my tinkering or defective manufacture had caused the watch to no longer beep!

NOOOO!!! What the heck are five alarms good for if you can’t even hear them?!

I managed to get along without my watch beeping on the hour or the five alarms, but I couldn’t escape the inevitable destiny each of my watches is fated to live up to – I lost the watch a month later. Frustrated at the injustice of it all, I went watchless for a couple of months somehow believing that I was rebelling against the system. I no longer peeked at my wrist to check on the time every other minute. I felt free of the trappings of society. I was invincible until one of my friends pestered me to just "go ahead and buy a new watch." Truthfully, I did miss having a watch, so we strolled into the nearest shop and I immediately bought a watch. A Casio – DATA BANK (DB-35H). For those who already forgot, it was the newest version of the exact same watch I had before. What can I say? I like the design.

A year later, I was cleaning my room, and guess what I found? My Casio – DATA BANK (DB-34H)! Apparently, it fell in the crack between the bed and the wall. ARRRGHH! As if to mock me, the time was still correct to within a couple of minutes. I didn’t need two watches, so I placed it in my kitchen to use as a kitchen timer (very useful indeed). Everything was fine and dandy until this fateful day…

As I did with the previous model, I thought taking apart, and then putting back together my most recent watch would fix it to some extent. This time, no such luck. It’s still dead as a doornail. I suppose I could swap the battery from my other watch to see if it will work, but I’m afraid with my luck I’ll end up breaking the old one again. I’ll just have to endure using my old, noiseless one for the time being.

Now, this story wouldn’t be complete without a twist ending. Remember when I said I got the Casio – DATA BANK (DB-34H) watch as a replacement for a watch that I had lost a year earlier? I didn’t mention what kind of watch it was. Yep. It was a Casio – DATA BANK (DB-34H).

Three strikes. I’m out.

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